somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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