your thong is hanging out like whoa
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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