Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
