just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
