I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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