O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
