I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
