I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
