dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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