It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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