is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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