I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I won the penis lottery.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
