What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
