Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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