ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
