nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
its not stalking. its research.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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