we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
