also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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