she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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