Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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