I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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