im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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