Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
