she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
