Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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