For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
