so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i think my cat just said my name.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
