Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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