We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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