bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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