I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
