Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I stole a fireplace last night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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