apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
