To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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