what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
