bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need water and some morals
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
