i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
