I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
