If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Acid is not a monday night drug
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
