Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
