I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
