OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My vagina is very pro this idea
FUCK WHALES
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