I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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