She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
