I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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