She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
