just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dicks are not precious.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
