this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
