I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
