Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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