i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
