he puts the penis in happiness.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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