wakey wakey hands off snakey
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
