I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
